Today we have Kate talking about 'Inspiratiin'
When Kirsty mentioned she was running 'Inspiration Month' on her blog I was really keen to be involved. I am naturally very self-motivated and determined, and it is rare that I set my mind to something and then don't see it through, whether that is walking a marathon for Cancer Research UK, self funding an Open University degree or performing a burlesque routine in front of a group of 25 women.
So I tried to think long and hard about what exactly what it is inside me that drives me on and inspires me to pursue my dreams. I came up with the following...
1) I made a Bucket List
In 2011 I physically wrote down everything I hope to do in my life. If I think of something that is important for me to achieve, I add it to the list. Having that list there in front of me is a real inspiration- knowing that these are the things that I am setting out to do in my life and that I can make them happen spurs me on and reminds me that dreams can be achieved. Every time I tick something off my list I feel a bit of pride deep inside, a knowledge that I am in control of making my own dreams come true.
2) I'm a really sore loser
I am inspired to do my best in everything that I set out to do as I hate losing. That doesn't mean that I have to be the best at everything I do (I was 2nd from last in the Worksop Half Marathon in 2011), it means that nothing will beat ME. Basically I'm a stubborn so-and-so, and I am of the mindset that if other people can do these things, then why can't I?
3) I will not be beaten by depression
I've probably suffered with depression and anxiety for most of my life, although I was only diagnosed when my baby son was hospitalised with a blood disorder in 2008. There have been many times in my life where I have wanted to hide away from the world, bury myself into a hole and sit as still as possible whilst the rest of the world carries on without me. I have had horribly dark thoughts. I have felt like a failure, a misfit, unworthy of being part of the world. Yet even in my lowest moments, I know that the depressed, nervous shell of a person is not the real me. So I created a persona. This also tied in with my interest in the burlesque scene, as it is standard practice that performers create an alter ego, an identity that is usually confident, self-assured and carefree. Bunny Lovell is the other side of me. Unlike Kate, who worries about what other people think and is petrified of failing, Bunny is ballsy. She has guts. So whenever I want to do something that scares me a bit (or a lot!), I become Bunny Lovell- performer and 'gal about town'. It might sound a bit weird, becoming someone else, but if it's good enough for Beyoncé, it's good enough for me. Bunny inspires me to take risks and has led me to the amazing world of book blogging, something I will always be thankful for.
4) My amazing Mum
Without going into lots of detail and sharing her life story, my Mum is fantastic. She's had a rough ride and has still managed to retain a zest for life. Her support and encouragement inspires me to reach for my dreams, and her resilience reminds me that we can overcome just about anything with a positive outlook and a 'one day at a time' mentality.
If you have enjoyed reading about what inspires me, you may like to visit my blog at www.bookswithbunny.blogspot.co.uk , find me on facebook at www.facebook.com/bookswithbunny or follow me on twitter @bookswithbunny
Thanks again to Kirsty for giving me the opportunity to be part of her blog
A big thank you to Kate for sharing what inspires her