Friday, 12 September 2014

A Moment of Musing: Acceptance


“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”

I've heard the above saying a lot and I mean A LOT!  
After a tricky few months I find myself detached from the positivity that used to focus me and have now become someone I don't recognise. 
I'm not depressed, I'm unhappy and that means that I pick at everything in my life.

I have always been my biggest critic and at times my own worst enemy but I don't accept myself because I can't accept myself. This is because I know I need to improve many things about myself and since I expect my books to look pristine when I purchase them, I put the same pressure on myself.

My weight isn't right, my body isn't toned, I blush easily, I hate my arms, my hair doesn't always sit right, my eyes which have always been the one thing I've liked about myself, have lost their sparkle.
I am sure by now you get the drift, when I look in the mirror I zone in on flaws, when I go out in crowds, I look around at all the gorgeous people and wonder why I bothered leaving the house.

The truth is, I know I'm not alone in this feeling and I guess it's the fact that I'm not alone which sees me leaving the house.
But I still find myself debating the quote, with my mind constantly going through the thought process above, HOW DO I LEARN TO ACCEPT MYSELF? 

I've recently started exercising and I mean properly exercising not just opening the chocolate wrapper, I've also cut back on the treats and alcohol.
I guess that's the hardest bit, not that I'm alcohol dependent but I personally like me better after a glass of wine (or two) honestly if I could channel the tipsy me without having a drink I think I would be  closer to this acceptance people talk about,

I know I need to work on me and not just me on the outside but me on the inside, I need to challenge myself to get to a me that I like.

So that's why I'm writing this, not for anyone to comment but because if I make a mental challenge with myself I can back down and no one would know but if I make it public, I won't.back down!

I'm going to get fitter, thinner and happier.
I will create things to look forward to and focus on a future instead of dwelling on the past and one day, I will look at my reflection and own what I see! 

Who knows maybe Audrey will be right...


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